Mustard with Soup?

For the second consecutive day the temperature broke well into the 90's, and we know how people get when the heat becomes a little unbearable (especially when said people are driving an inferior, improperly-cared-for car with very likely no A/C). This might help to explain a potentially insulting, but in the end very humorous, interaction with a group of young girls (I won't call them ladies or women) in a Dodge Neon on my bike ride home down 31st Street from treatment this afternoon. I'm a cautious and courteous biker (you have to be when those who "share" the road are 10 times your mass) so I know I couldn't have done anything to upset them, but here comes this Neon, decaying paint job and all, along side me and my Schwinn Varsity to yell something that sounded to be "bat soup, nigga!" In addition to the incomprehensible slang (I actually did get that last word) there was the action of spitting in my direction, but no actual saliva came out, so they failed on both fronts. If you're trying to insult someone, it really only works if the insultee can understand you, and if your mouth can produce enough saliva to back that up.

Not feeling any sting in the slightest, my mind raced to decode the words and why on Earth I was the target of such a slur. I had never been called a "nigga" before and I have been losing sleep lately wondering why, so I can put that under my belt and get on with my life. Perhaps it was my outfit. I can possibly see how wearing a red-and-white short sleeve shirt with blue jeans, green socks and green Cole Haan shoes might confuse some people, but it really wasn't that offensive. And what is this "bat soup?"

Well, 31st Street at 3:15 on a weekday can get pretty backed up, what with all the controlled intersections. I noticed I was gaining good ground on the insult-mobile without even trying, so I decided to give this another go. A couple blocks past my usual turn at Bryant Avenue I caught up and slowed down next to their car at a stop sign. Again..."bat soup, nigga!" and spit with no spit. I kindly asked what the problem was, but apparently reason scares the "bat soup" out of some people, and they sped off.

I took a left down Girard and it came to me what this all meant. These girls were very upset that their bat soup left a lot to be desired (hence the spitting without spit) and they were trying to ask for some Grey Poupon! I could have told them that soups made with nocturnal animals have nothing on those that are based on animals that feed during the day, and that despite it's worldwide reputation for impeccable quality, Grey Poupon isn't good in soup of any kind.


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